Two versions of me (1 Viewer)

[Angela]

I hope i can properly articulate this, so bare with me.

It occurred to me recently that I have two versions of myself. A definitive split that I hadn't noticed before.

There is a version of me that is relatively earthly. Consciously invested in how I experience emotions. Wanting to see what it is I should be doing. Actively working to better my life on this 3d plane. I tend to make a lot of mistakes (to me, at least) and therefore spend time working through anxiety and previous grievances that I am mostly aware of. It feels very much like I'm truly feeling my individualistic self.
I don't particularly like this version of myself.

The other version is when I am fully on top. Meditating regularly. Feeling very much in a rather high dimension. (higher than the 5th). I can sit for long periods of time in a state of bliss, feeling love, experiencing the all that is, nirvana so to speak, and I see it all evidenced in how my life goes. It feels like a natural state of my being though and like what I'm used to. (i think I felt glimpses of this throughout my life and, honestly have suspicions that I am part angel, which it feels weird actually putting out there. Heh)
A large takeaway from it though is that i feel very much not individual.
And a part of me doesn't like that either because I feel like it doesn't leave room for my individual self that is somewhat separate from this.

I know it's all one. I get that the mistakes we make all work towards the best. I get that it is all one and individual experiences of that one. I get it. But I guess I don't too. I can't seem to find a balance of being my individual self and at the same time being One and feeling and being that bliss. In my experience that I'm currently living they can't seem to coexist simultaneously.

I oscillate between the two, but most of my time is spent at a weird midway point limbo.

I have played around with the idea of being part of One and equally being an individual but I guess i hadn't seen the vivid dichotomy my experience on this earth is playing out.

I wonder if this is part of what the split is to feel like. Or if I'm meant to choose Oneness or my individual.
Has anyone else felt something like this?

 

[Stargazer]

I wonder if this is part of what the split is to feel like. Or if I'm meant to choose Oneness or my individual.
Has anyone else felt something like this?

I don't think we're actually meant to choose anything (not in any kind of "pre-determined" way, anyway)! The beauty of life, consciousness, and free will (I think) is that we can choose to experience/do anything we want!

I've had lots of similar thoughts, Angela. What really helped me is the understanding that individuality is just as important as oneness. In fact, Divine "Oneness" is simply the perfect balance of ALL THINGS.

Think of it this way...if you were "God" (or the Highest Consciousness) and your only experience was the knowing of yourself as one, unified, perfectly balanced being, wouldn't things seem a bit, well, boring? With everything in a perfect state of calm, peace, and balance, it'd be like one gray, blah expanse of...nothing!

Now...throw in some various shades of color, some dynamic waves of changing energy, some dark and light (as well as a few shades in between), a few different vantage points from which to observe and experience things and what do you have? Something that's new, beautiful, and interesting!

Now just imagine how many new things you'd see and experience if you gave all these creations the ability (free will) to create or change things however they might want to--and imagine how fascinating it would be to see and experience things through them!

If you were now able to do all this, wouldn't you just LOVE, LOVE, LOVE these creations and all their creations too? All the while knowing that they are not just you, but individual and creative aspects of you?

I think the secret of happiness and balance is to start seeing things from this "higher" perspective. Start looking at things from a perspective of wonder and innocence--as if it was the first time you've ever seen something. I suspect that is essentially how "Source" looks at things. And from that vantage point, how can you NOT love something?

As for your "other" selves or aspects of self, they are just as worthy of love--because they ARE you. They are perhaps struggling along not yet having reached this "higher" perspective. They may feel alone, abandoned, and uncertain of YOUR existence as a "higher" version of you. How can one not love that? Try thinking of yourself in a similar state sometime in your past. Perhaps you were left alone somewhere by your parents as a child. Or you lost a loved one, a beloved pet, or even a cherished belonging. Or maybe you were jilted by someone you felt you loved. Really try see yourself at that age and re-experience the pain you felt and embrace it.

Now think of yourself now...in this future, "higher" version of you. Would you not wish to comfort "the younger" you? If so, imagine that. Give this younger you a comforting hug and just LOVE them. For they are you.

This is also Source and how Source sees all of us. We're its younger, less aware aspects.

And it loves us all so much. Individually and unconditionally.

Now can you see why?



{{{HUG}}}

 

[Linda]

Angela, I believe I understand what you are saying because I find myself in similar circumstances. I think of it as "range of me".

You know I always have an analogy. So think about athletes. When they are competing, they are in a zone where their body operates at peak performance. I watched a pole vaulter one time and saw his eyes sort of glaze over. He was not thinking about getting the oil changed in his car or what he needed at the grocery store. He was in a pole vaulting zone. However, he cannot live there all the time.

So, it is not so much separate versions of you, but rather a wider range of you than you've been conscious of before. I do know that when I am in that state, I cannot drive my car to the grocery store or on the highway to pick up someone. I need the part of me that can manage the smaller things in this life.

I did noticed a change in the "me" that manages driving and running errands a couple of days ago. It some way it was easier, as if I'd formed some kind of better link that bridges the "range of me". I wanted to write about this, but could not figure out how to put it into words. Does this make sense to you?

 

[Sinera]

I often am the observer of my ego. Therefore I always am somehow two.

The observer can also connect to the Higher Self. The ego can't. It can be at peace sometimes although it most of the times is unhappy and is missing peace (or because of missing it).

And it is never blissful. If blissful, I'm the observer.

 

[Angela]

Angela, I believe I understand what you are saying because I find myself in similar circumstances. I think of it as "range of me".

You know I always have an analogy. So think about athletes. When they are competing, they are in a zone where their body operates at peak performance. I watched a pole vaulter one time and saw his eyes sort of glaze over. He was not thinking about getting the oil changed in his car or what he needed at the grocery store. He was in a pole vaulting zone. However, he cannot live there all the time.

So, it is not so much separate versions of you, but rather a wider range of you than you've been conscious of before. I do know that when I am in that state, I cannot drive my car to the grocery store or on the highway to pick up someone. I need the part of me that can manage the smaller things in this life.

I did noticed a change in the "me" that manages driving and running errands a couple of days ago. It some way it was easier, as if I'd formed some kind of better link that bridges the "range of me". I wanted to write about this, but could not figure out how to put it into words. Does this make sense to you?

I think that is what it feels like. "range of me" makes a lot of sense. Within the past year i have been cognizant of a lot of aspects of myself that I need to accept as part of me. Maybe it's been weird because of how absurdly different some of them are. Trying to marry widely varying self pieces, i started to think something else was going on maybe.

 

[Angela]

I often am the observer of my ego. Therefore I always am somehow two.

The observer can also connect to the Higher Self. The ego can't. It can be at peace sometimes although it most of the times is unhappy and is missing peace (or because of missing it).

And it is never blissful. If blissful, I'm the observer.

This makes a lot of sense. I need to think on that.

 

[Stargazer]

I thought this was a great overview of "merging" aspects of ourselves, perhaps others may find it helpful as well:

http://galacticconnection.com/andrew-martin-merging-through-fluidity-video/

 

[Linda]

I have names for the two sides of me - Austin Linda and Sky Linda - weirdly funny, but works for me.

 

[Snowmelt]

I think you received your birth name as a boon, part of a soul contract to help reflect back to you that larger part of you, or as a simple reminder. In the "range of me" aspects, I like to face a challenge with the question, what part of me that I haven't met yet can meet up with the challenge and overcome it easily and simply? I find that there are parts of me that can do things I didn't think I could.

 

[Linda]

In the "range of me" aspects, I like to face a challenge with the question, what part of me that I haven't met yet can meet up with the challenge and overcome it easily and simply?

This is an exciting way to think of it - wow, there is so much freedom and potential in this approach.

It also reminds me of another idea that has been on my mind. Is it possible to pull in skills, abilities, knowledge of our other aspects living in parallel lives - sort of like Trinity and Neo getting downloads of info?

 

[Alain]

that one part can master things the other cant i can agree with that i didn't found out much until now but as my scool problem is said partially solved in the brain i know that there is a part still encaged but is beeing freed little by little

so shortly the brain goes better and the calm is still greater than it was

 

[Out of Time]

Angela, it seems to me that you just describe yourself in a period when you can connect to your higher self and a period when it is a bit of a challenge. Nobody can maintain a high frequency here all the time.

There is nothing weird about being an angel, especially since you have it in your name. Besides, everybody loves angels. Okay, I actually don't love one, but I am a minority.

It would be more interesting to see somebody announce that he/she is reptilian or any other of the fallen races, but I fear for the responses they would get.

Blessings and all the best on your path.

 

[Sinera]

It would be more interesting to see somebody announce that he/she is reptilian or any other of the fallen races, but I fear for the responses they would get.

I was once on the Starseeds forum here. There are countless 'reptilians' there, they even form subgroups and have their own forum spaces, they are 'protected' by the staff in their rights to be what they (feel/believe) they are:

http://www.starseeds.net/forum

While it is great that they are protected, however I also noticed that they are very vocal in 'defending' themselves against biases (pretending there are mostly 'good reps').

I'm no longer on this forum as it did not resonate with me anymore. It is incredibly aggressive in some of the discussions there and quite ego driven for the most part (not just due to reptilians, just in general). People also get banned regularly due to these fights.

One would like to think that especially a starseed forum would NOT be like that, true? But after all it turns out they are very human - much more than reps, greys, mantis, northerns or whatever.

 

[Out of Time]

It seems the Earth is quite a melting pot. There are various groups of entities, even the benevolent ones would have slightly different agendas and different ways of helping. Recently, a very powerful and advanced lightworker "banished" me for speaking against the traditional religions. And she claimed to be Pleiadian, which I have no reason to doubt. I see the light in her, but she just connects to Source in a slightly different way, which makes me look evil.

Spiritual conversations may be quite uneasy, but people are following their paths of evolution and remembering.

 

[Angela]

I thought this was a great overview of "merging" aspects of ourselves, perhaps others may find it helpful as well:

http://galacticconnection.com/andrew-martin-merging-through-fluidity-video/

This made something click, and I'm only about 10-15 minutes into it.

It's all perspective.
When I go through life now, i haven't been particularly judgmental with the different aspects of myself. I'll look at something I don't like but I still recognize the necessity and how it's expression and etc etc blah blah.

But I guess what I couldn't put my finger on was that it isn't that we're separate. Or that they can't merge and coexist. It's all a matter of perspective.

This actually brings to light why I've been taking notice of instances in my life that multiply when I put my focus on it. Same thing. Same lesson. Different focus.

I'm learning more directly that i can zero in on things I want information on. The power of awareness.

He used an analog of being in a big office space with multiple partitions. He is everyone in that office but the partitions are being knocked down so he's seeing that he is the same person as all the other people in the office. If he wanted, he could shift his awareness to another person in the room and that "would be his world" for as long as he wants. It doesn't change the perspectives or experiences that each one of his "selves" has. Merely where his higher self awareness is within the huge energy that is him.

And, ultimately, that includes the self that isn't as individual cause it is a part of One.

 

[Lila]

I can very much relate to what you write, Angela.
I haven't, like Linda, named these two obvious part(ner)s of myself (though that sounds like a great idea!) but I am glad you wrote about it as I have experienced something very similar.
Then, in addition to that, there are the 'parts' of me that have come whooshing back during 'awake dream' time. My favourite (and first) was an old, weathered shaman woman who had seen it all. She whooshed into myself, and looked out from behind my eyes with me. I saw her as a part of me that I'd 'put away for safekeeping' and who had come out 'when it was time to'.
After some comments from a very aware friend, I guess I came to see these new parts as pieces of my multidimensional self. It's a term that really had my eyes rolling when first applied to me, but it does fit this kind of occurence, lol!

 

[CrystalSong]

Thank you for putting it into words Angela, they could have been my words!

After nearly 5 years of being blown out in an incredible spiritual high with all psychic circuits fully operational and madly in love with Everyone and getting to be here on Earth, I've finally found something of a balance and get to experience my human once again. It feels good to be back in my human, be able to do math again, remember what month it is, take care of bills, drive in a straight line (lol) and be not blown out all the time in wide eyed wonder by the size and depth of the proverbial Rabbit Hole seen through the third eye.

As you said though, the human part doesn't choose to be happy often and goes into self criticism fairly easily, I find myself spending a lot of time monitoring it (Observer/Witness) and keeping it on a productive Path less it try to start canalizing itself. There is still access to the higher states of consciousness, usually within just a few breaths. Just having option (Human/Divine) is so wonderful, no idea how I survived being 'only human' for so long.
It is odd though seeing everything through 2 perspectives simultaneously (human and Divine) -very odd.

 

[Stargazer]

It is odd though seeing everything through 2 perspectives simultaneously (human and Divine) -very odd.

The really strange thing is the thought that this multidimensionality is actually much closer to our natural state of being!

 

[CrystalSong]

The really strange thing is the thought that this multidimensionality is actually much closer to our natural state of being!

Indeed! I totally agree. We forgot, so it's sort of like Alzheimer's and waking up everyday and learning and meeting all new friends for the first time again, only in this version periodically in life times we wake up and remember what we keep forgetting what we really are.

 

[Anaeika]

Angela,

I am so glad you have written this because I have been feeling the same. I really do believe you have been communing with your higher self. I’d be curious to see what would come through in a qhht session for you.

 

[CrystalSong]

Yes, many times a day. She trained me well. LOL
Oh! I just realized there was another Angela on this thread - please ignore the sentence above!

 

[Lila]

It feels like a natural state of my being though and like what I'm used to. (i think I felt glimpses of this throughout my life and, honestly have suspicions that I am part angel, which it feels weird actually putting out there. Heh)

Okay, this is the second time today that I am being reminded of a qhht session that I have mostly written up but not quite finished and posted. I guess that is a biiig reminder

What I am referring to is that your description of the angel that you have suspicions of being is probably what most people would call the being I first came to in my very first qhht session.
There were a group of us working with/through an energy center we had created above the earth. The energy center was like an enormous column of energy which allowed things that it touched to become 'sorted' into whichever energy level/frequency they belonged at. (Sorry, not so easy to describe). If you entered it and parts of you were 'low energy level' they'd go down to that level. The 'higher energy' parts would go up. This helped sort things out so that they could heal and work together with what each piece needed.
The beings we were/are floated in the air, wor/ked together telepathically with ease, felt very high vibrational, had limbs and a body that flowed, moved at will with grace and ease, were/are very bright and somewhat transparent. The main thing, though, was that we instinctively worked together, though 'instinctively' is not quite accurate either, as we had no instincts. We just were. We just did what we did. We were very much connected at a level I yearn for here on earth.
It was blissful to be there and when asked, the reason I was told I was there, was so that I could just bask in rememberance of that place. I also asked if I could return and I can. When things feel tough down here, I do that.

This has become easier to do in the last few days. In fact, a few days ago I felt a number of beings around me doing the 'basking' thing with me, kind of 'bringing it to me' at a time when I needed it. I asked for other people close to me to receive it too. This is a new thing; that I felt them come to me. I had just asked for 'boots on the ground' type help with a situation, so I guess that is what I got
I am pretty sure (now that I recall this) that these beings are the ones I returned to during that qhht session.
I feel it changing me and allowing me to change my situation in subtle ways that will grow into a rumble of change from within and then around me. I guess I needed a reminder to do this.
It also very much feels like the right time for this kind of change.

I am very sorry for whatever difficulty in translating what I feel into words that make sense
What I feel makes so much sense. What I write seems so clumsy!

 

[Alain]

Thats why feelings are best sensed. The most great wonders are very hard to give it the right words