My mother was a genius you know, I mean really. People looked up to her in the way that happens now with politicians and movie stars. Their misdeeds are ignored because they are so clever and their work benefits so many people in power. If you google M.J. Cooper Ciguaterra poisoning you will see the extent of my mother's work. I was putting fish in formaldehyde almost as soon as I could walk because I lived on an atoll in the Pacific ocean.
She was also very cruel. Particularly to myself and my adopted sister. She told me when I was 8/9 that I was evil and no one would ever love me. It would be our secret and I was grateful to her for keeping it for me because I knew she was wise and she was right because she was my mother and everybody said how clever she was.
I was just terrified of her. I once fainted when she shouted at me. She persuaded the local doctor to put me on valium when I was 16 years old and to this day I am deaf in my left ear because she was a right handed head slapper. In all my life with her, until she died of a brain haemorrhage when I was 17 years old, she never showed me any love or kindness.
And I loved her. And I still love her in my heart and in my soul.
The first time I saw a psychic medium my first question was "Is Mummy proud of me"
The first time I consciously astral travelled a yellow helmet was placed on my head and I travelled at great speed to land in a hedge. When I climbed out, I found myself in a house that matched the home I last lived in with her, except there was no electricity. I walked into the house and saw a woman looking out of the window. Utterly conscious, I prayed it was Mummy and as she turned her head I saw, with joy that it was her. "You came all this way after everything I did to you" she said and I hugged her hard.
I only had time to say "I love you" before her face changed into someone unknown to me and I was awake in my body again zzzzzzzzzzzp.
We met up once more in 2011. I was chopping vegetables in a friend's kitchen when my mother appeared and dropped a skirt over me. It felt and looked like a Victorian skirt with hoops and stuff. It was composed entirely of love. "To keep you connected to the family" she said. I just wept. Over the carrots. Trying to explain to bewildered husband of friend " Sorry (sob) Dead mother (sob) skirt, love, over me (sob)
I live with her daily. She gave me her marine biologist, sceptic brain. Followed for three days in the Pacific Ocean by a UFO whilst collecting samples of algae from different islands, she stubbornly insisted it was an illusion. When she caught me praying to God to save my wounded bird, she slapped me hard and told me to stop being so stupid, "That won't help"
Just recently, gardening has become very important to me, interestingly my mother was an avid gardener. Just writing that brings tears to my eyes. I am not sure but I feel that I have to totally accept my mother in all her glory before my wounds are healed. If I evaluate her life in terms of the way she treated me then she is seen as a a failed parent. If I see her as a woman who succeeded in a male dominated world, overcoming polio and osteomyelitis then I see a woman of great courage. Proud of you Mummy.
This is why humans are so special, so divine. No other species can reconcile energies like us. We really are amazing and we will endure.
She was also very cruel. Particularly to myself and my adopted sister. She told me when I was 8/9 that I was evil and no one would ever love me. It would be our secret and I was grateful to her for keeping it for me because I knew she was wise and she was right because she was my mother and everybody said how clever she was.
I was just terrified of her. I once fainted when she shouted at me. She persuaded the local doctor to put me on valium when I was 16 years old and to this day I am deaf in my left ear because she was a right handed head slapper. In all my life with her, until she died of a brain haemorrhage when I was 17 years old, she never showed me any love or kindness.
And I loved her. And I still love her in my heart and in my soul.
The first time I saw a psychic medium my first question was "Is Mummy proud of me"
The first time I consciously astral travelled a yellow helmet was placed on my head and I travelled at great speed to land in a hedge. When I climbed out, I found myself in a house that matched the home I last lived in with her, except there was no electricity. I walked into the house and saw a woman looking out of the window. Utterly conscious, I prayed it was Mummy and as she turned her head I saw, with joy that it was her. "You came all this way after everything I did to you" she said and I hugged her hard.
I only had time to say "I love you" before her face changed into someone unknown to me and I was awake in my body again zzzzzzzzzzzp.
We met up once more in 2011. I was chopping vegetables in a friend's kitchen when my mother appeared and dropped a skirt over me. It felt and looked like a Victorian skirt with hoops and stuff. It was composed entirely of love. "To keep you connected to the family" she said. I just wept. Over the carrots. Trying to explain to bewildered husband of friend " Sorry (sob) Dead mother (sob) skirt, love, over me (sob)
I live with her daily. She gave me her marine biologist, sceptic brain. Followed for three days in the Pacific Ocean by a UFO whilst collecting samples of algae from different islands, she stubbornly insisted it was an illusion. When she caught me praying to God to save my wounded bird, she slapped me hard and told me to stop being so stupid, "That won't help"
Just recently, gardening has become very important to me, interestingly my mother was an avid gardener. Just writing that brings tears to my eyes. I am not sure but I feel that I have to totally accept my mother in all her glory before my wounds are healed. If I evaluate her life in terms of the way she treated me then she is seen as a a failed parent. If I see her as a woman who succeeded in a male dominated world, overcoming polio and osteomyelitis then I see a woman of great courage. Proud of you Mummy.
This is why humans are so special, so divine. No other species can reconcile energies like us. We really are amazing and we will endure.
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