I came across this wonderful article by John Welwood at a website called LIONS ROAR https://www.lionsroar.com one that Bernie sometimes lists in "UNSPUN" It is so fantastic that I must share it. I have read it through several times and like a prayer, each time I read it I gain more understanding. and more peace.
The fact that my relationships with men have been so very painful has been a source of conflict for me for many years.....to such a degree that I have avoided them so they end up getting me anyway. This piece of writing just explains it all so brilliantly, I have found renewed courage to get out there and feel it all.
Here is a taster:
"Relationship as Alchemy
When we fall in love, this usually ushers in a special period, one with its own distinctive glow and magic. Glimpsing another person’s beauty and feeling, our heart opening in response provides a taste of absolute love, a pure blend of openness and warmth. This being-to-being connection reveals the pure gold at the heart of our nature, qualities like beauty, delight, awe, deep passion and kindness, generosity, tenderness, and joy.
Yet opening to another also flushes to the surface all kinds of conditioned patterns and obstacles that tend to shut this connection down: our deepest wounds, our grasping and desperation, our worst fears, our mistrust, our rawest emotional trigger points. As a relationship develops, we often find that we don’t have full access to the gold of our nature, for it remains embedded in the ore of our conditioned patterns. And so we continually fall from grace"
https://www.lionsroar.com/intimate-relationship-as-a-spiritual-crucible/?ct=t(Welcome_to_Lion_s_Roar9_11_2015)&goal=0_1988ee44b2-9b3ae1529b-22754805
ABOUT JOHN WELWOOD
John Welwood, Ph.D. is a psychotherapist who has been a student of Tibetan Buddhism for more than thirty-five years. His books include Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart.
The fact that my relationships with men have been so very painful has been a source of conflict for me for many years.....to such a degree that I have avoided them so they end up getting me anyway. This piece of writing just explains it all so brilliantly, I have found renewed courage to get out there and feel it all.
Here is a taster:
"Relationship as Alchemy
When we fall in love, this usually ushers in a special period, one with its own distinctive glow and magic. Glimpsing another person’s beauty and feeling, our heart opening in response provides a taste of absolute love, a pure blend of openness and warmth. This being-to-being connection reveals the pure gold at the heart of our nature, qualities like beauty, delight, awe, deep passion and kindness, generosity, tenderness, and joy.
Yet opening to another also flushes to the surface all kinds of conditioned patterns and obstacles that tend to shut this connection down: our deepest wounds, our grasping and desperation, our worst fears, our mistrust, our rawest emotional trigger points. As a relationship develops, we often find that we don’t have full access to the gold of our nature, for it remains embedded in the ore of our conditioned patterns. And so we continually fall from grace"
https://www.lionsroar.com/intimate-relationship-as-a-spiritual-crucible/?ct=t(Welcome_to_Lion_s_Roar9_11_2015)&goal=0_1988ee44b2-9b3ae1529b-22754805
ABOUT JOHN WELWOOD
John Welwood, Ph.D. is a psychotherapist who has been a student of Tibetan Buddhism for more than thirty-five years. His books include Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart.
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