These days I'm constantly monitoring my thoughts, reaction and stubborn places seeking the programming or belief system which was inserted in me so I can release it and continue deeper into discovering who I really am.
The more I can use triggers and reactions to root out stuff inside me the more room is left for Higher Self to indwell further. So there's this ongoing 'emptying process' which also assist me in minding authenticity - my Truth and Eternal roots.
Usually I see these triggers as blessings because through investigating them I find outdated belief systems they are associated with and dissolving them helps raise my frequency.
Yesterday though not only was a trigger found but a big huge red button and someone just jumped on it!
It was in my clairvoyance class and the Director of the course said to keep asking inside to learn what psychic symbols mean so that you can train up your certainty when psychically reading someone.
I asked 'was it not better to ask one's Higher Self and or Angels and guides to assist when things were seen which it was not readily apparent what they meant?' The Instructor jumped all over me saying 'I was doing the reading, not Angels and Guides and some of them had never been in a body or it had been so long that they could no longer relate to being a human and thus couldn't give good interpretations'.
I counter that 'while they may not be able to do that it was my job as human to do the interpreting, but the ethers were their 'native language' so things seen in someone auric field or strange energies it seemed better to ask them about, and then translate that back to the person'.
She replied "No. You the human need to do this, not your higher self or Angel and Guides. You have to get your certainty."
I responded, "I can't do that, my ego will just make up stuff that sounds good, it will filter everything through its own experiences which may have zero to do with the clients actual life experience. Ego can't know, it needs to get out of the way and become a clean pure neutral vessel that Higher Self can pour the information through."
She fairly screeched at me then and the conversation broke down to the point we were not even speaking the same language anymore and she turned into the 'scolding authority figure with the ruler for spanking" and I, the confused student who was in my certainty that whether she was right or wrong it was only for her and had nothing to do with my personal reality. (rebellion)
I stayed triggered most of the day from that episode.
When I got home I talked with the Angels and Guides asking two ways she was right in the conversation and two ways I was right, then two ways she was wrong and two ways I was wrong to try and get an over all picture of what had happened and why the whole thing had gone so south so suddenly. It was like she had in in against Angels and Guides or something.
The end result was that the Angels, Guides and Higher Self said I was already in my certainty (that being the need for ego to get out of the way so pure unadulterated information could be received), but that ego was nursing the 'perceived' wound it has received from the Instructor who'd not realized where the student was at and spoke to it like it was a kindergartener. They said I needed to 'get over myself' and practice being more discerning. LOL True.
They also said my Instructor needed to take a break (retire) and reconnect in with her Team (Higher Self, Angels and Guides) refresh her spirituality because she was 'off mark'.
Not sure how I'll fix this thing, maybe just duck my head more and not ask questions that are above the class level. I didn't use discerning it's true. Most students were asking how to even recognize their Higher Self and were confused on where the information was coming from and were very uncomfortable to 'just make stuff up' as they were being encouraged to do in order to connect with their intuition.
I keep reminding myself how much I'm clearing by doing so...